If you feel like dancing, dance with me

I am choking on the beauty of these words that are falling out of your mouth. They are not stopping and the hopelessly and pathetically romantic part of me really wishes that they would never stop. The intelligent and reasonable part of me knows that they are going to eventually---soon---and that they should. And they should for many, many reasons. Well, maybe just one or two but they are big enough in importance that I think they could both count for about a million reasons between themselves.

The first reason is because you are predictable and your pretty prose always ends. I used to believe that you would never stop surprising me. But you proved me wrong. You never surprise me anymore. Your actions that are always the same... they have become routine. That is either a very, very good thing or a very, very bad thing. The lies in your words comfort me for all the wrong reasons. You proving me wrong also proves that I put too much faith in people too fast. You have stopped me from making that same mistake with somebody else.

The second reason is because I know I will feel pain from your words later. It will be like someone took a big metal spoon and scooped a big chunk of icy stuff from my chest. As you can probably guess, it does not feel very pleasant. It is painful. It is your fault.

But none of that seems to matter when your lovely and creamy voice fills my ears. It is like a drug that I can not get out of my system. Ever. Even when you stop talking and you walk away and you leave me for who knows how long. Even when I am writhing with the pain of a new hole in my chest. Your voice haunts me. Your voice does not leave when you do.

So, I am addicted to you. That much is obvious. I need to stop. I need to be healthy and rid my body of you completely. But I can not tell you to not come back. Knowing that you will is what keeps me alive when you leave me once more. When I am alone again. It is sickening.

I cannot stop.

-Me, Courtney Woolery

I am finally beginning my novel. I have had ideas running through my head for about a year now. I finally feel ready to actually start writing it. This was just a character practice. Getting to my know character. I'm not sure if I'm liking her vulnerability and weakness being so prominent. I'll have to work on that. Like I said, it's just practice.