Say all I need is the air I breathe
and a place to rest my head

Only time will tell...
I see it clearly now.

You don't have to go

I guess it was just wishful thinking or hope getting the better of me. Whatever it was, I shouldn't have given in. Boredom requires careful thought, otherwise you'll make mistakes that will be hard not to regret later. And being bored and lonesome is a lethal combination.

But what is beautiful is that phone call from you that surprised me and gave me the goosebumps and the butterflies that had slipped my mind. It might be foolish to give you another chance, when a second was already handed out and stepped on. And I won't, not until I hear the apology my mind and my heart needs, and I won't until I see the effort I need to see to feel okay. Your words are nice, but they mean nothing until an action backs them up. So that is what I am waiting for and I hope you surprise me again and show me you have changed. I am lonely... and I miss you too as much as I try to fight it.

Sometimes life has a funny way of laughing in your face. And all you can do is laugh right back.

A glass can only spill what it contains.

Moonlight

I am bare foot. I can feel the dirt seeping into the skin of my soles. But it doesn't feel dirty. Instead, it feels right. It's like I am one with nature: uninhibited and completely free.
I run into the cold air, surrounded by the trees and a soft breeze that brings with it the salty scent of the ocean. I quicken my pace; I long for the sound of the waves and the crunch of the sand as I walk slowly to the water. The lovely glisten of the moonlight on the beach. The soft glow of gold that will bathe my bare skin as I reveal myself from the cover of leaves I am now under. They let in little of the light. Darkness is all around but I breath deeply and calmly even as I run. The air is filled with a hum and an electricity that seems to connect everything living . . . that strips the boundaries and makes us all one. It makes me feel as if I could just melt into the ground beneath my feet. It makes me feel warm. It makes me feel alive.
A full moon is out tonight. It is completely round, completely eerie. Full of knowledge and secrets. Of wisdom and magic. Of infinite possibilities. It drips of the unknown. The color is something out of a fairy tale or a ghost story. But I reach for it anyway. I will get as close to it as I possibly can.
I slowly walk out onto the desolate stretch of sand, and I can feel it. It. The feeling I get as midnight nears and the day ends. The feeling that makes me itch with restlessness. Whether I'm asleep or awake, it doesn't matter. I still feel it. It creeps into my skin and flows through my veins like it is my own blood. Thickly, slowly . . . it moves and crawls within me.
It is an ache and a longing that rips away any sense of self I have. I feel animal, barbaric. I just want to throw myself into the rough waves that crash against my legs and float away into everything I do not know. To become one with the water and the air and the sky and the moon and the land beneath my feet. To sink into the wet leaves that cover the ground. To truly be watched over by the mother called Earth.
So I run along the edge of this great blue abyss, feeling sharp rocks under my toes and the cold wrapping itself around my skin... but I don't care. I just want to feel apart of the unknown.
So I run.

“ I was going to tell her I loved her, right then, right now. But as I opened my mouth, she pressed her finger to my lips. And said “don’t ruin it.” And I didn’t. I didn’t mind.”


You know... we're all going to end up in the dirt one day anyway so stop thinking we're all so different.

...we're not.

Tell me

I am aching for something I've never even known. I am missing something I've never even had.

When I listen to this song, all I see is you and me, driving in your car with the windows down, music blasting, holding hands, and singing at the top of our longs. The sun is shining, our skin is warm, and our matching sunglasses are perched upon our faces.

"Tell me baby, all through the night, that you'll never let me go
Tell me baby, cuz I want the world to know
Tell me baby, I'm the only one, and all you'll ever need
Tell me baby, that you'll never let me go

Oh baby
You know we could never turn around
Cuz we're young and against the world
So tell me, tell me that you'll never let me go
Cuz I need your love, and I need it all the time"

80s hair metal just always makes you happy :D

Things are only a big deal if you make them a big deal. Don't you know that?

Life is beautiful

"Life is my oyster and I am gonna go out there and shuck it!"

The little things are making me quite happy lately. I am fine with what I have at the moment. And that makes me happy within itself.

Books are good. Books are swell. So are movies. Movies are fun. So is Lost and That '70s show... the only TV I will waste my time watching. You may think That '70s show is a pointless comedy, but it's not. Really. Ha.

I want to go shooting. Really bad. I need some new locations for some new inspiration. I am tired of all these repetitive photos of the inside of my house, the backyard, and the whole neighborhood. It's getting old.

I am glad we found each other again. You make me laugh :). That's all I can ask for really. Your friendship is so nice to have.

Sun to Sea

I like when a song is so good, I have to replay it over and over because I just want to feel the feeling I feel when I listen to it. Doesn't a song just ever make you feel so full of possibility and confidence and happiness and love and wonder that you might just burst? If that has never happened to you... find the song that makes you feel that. It is wonderful. I think that feeling is what I try to capture with my words and my photos. That feeling.



Have you ever looked at your reflection in the mirror and didn't know if you were actually looking at yourself? Who is that person? How did I get here?



Remember when peace and love and music was enough to be completely happy? Let's get back to that place. I want to run through nature on a sunny day with no shoes on my feet, flowers in my hair, your hand in mine, humming Whole Lotta Love and Thank you, strumming out Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap on our crappy guitar, banging out Walk This Way against a tree stump, and letting go to just be free. I want to get back to the simplicity of those hippie times. Humanity is so goddamn uptight now, it just makes me too worried about pointless things. Let's just lay in the back of your beat up car with your favorite AC/DC album blasting and sing it all, even the parts we don't know, because who cares. Our sweat will mingle and so will our skin and people will talk but we'll keep on keeping on because it is natural and beautiful and what we want and we're just young kids, young punks, who don't know any better but we need to make mistakes and they of all people should know that. We need to learn and sometimes all you can do is fall down to see things from the right angle. And then we'll walk on the sidewalk side by side with our tight jeans on and our matching leather jackets that weren't intentional but don't matter anyway. We'll have our hands in each others pockets and hearts and until things get ruined, because they will, we'll keep making the warm memories of our first love.

Sometimes... a book can change your life. Or a speech. Or a sentence. Or simply a word. Just a word. One word. And you are changed.

When you told me you cared about me, I believed you. I still want to believe you. I would be able to, if I just stopped thinking for a second. But I never stop thinking. Is that my curse or is that my best trait? Who even knows?

Is it possible for a person to completely change in only a year?

Is it possible that I'm just not cut out for this and never will be?

Is that sad... or is it just life?

I wish I had kept that promise to myself. It's too late now. Today was the day and I was never even close. It is frustrating. I over think, overwork, and over analyze until the ideas are just mush within my head. How will I ever fulfill my dream when I can't even finish anything, ever?

Don't worry

be happy

When the sun shines on your skin, do you feel warm?

The past few weeks have been a blur.


I need to live more.



Instead of sitting


on my bed... with my headphones in my ear and a book in my hands.







I just need to live.


I want to feel the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair and the beautiful soreness after a whole day out in the fresh air. I want to feel the sweat from a hot day on my neck and a friend's arm brushing against mine as we walk through a grassy green park. I want to feel the laughter and the happiness of swinging high into the air. I want to feel the recklessness that comes with jumping off at the highest point. I want to feel the excitement of staying up all night, sleeping in the grass of a friend's backyard, looking up at the stars, talking about every dream we have. I want to feel the cool air of a night in July. I want to feel the cold water of a pool at night on my bare feet. I want to feel the joy of a carefree adventure, all on foot, with no set destination or goal besides finding something fun to do in this windy little valley.

I want summer.


And I "wish" we could just leave the past in the past and just be friends again. I know you know who you are.

1 out of 100 people who get their wisdom teeth removed get an infection. Of course I had to be one of those people. This weekend has been hell. At least I have gotten to relax with ice cream and That 70's Show and lots of movies and lots of sleep.

I also did some thinking.

I realized many things.

But this time, I've learned not to share.