Are you counting the days?

I am sorry that my efforts to make this work with us are going ignored by you. Most likely on purpose. It makes me sad, yet... I know why you're doing it and I get it. So, that's that I guess. I'll miss you.

I think you just made yourself that constant thing in my life. That constant person. You know? The person who is always going to have a tiny piece of your heart, is always going to contact you at the worst times possible, is always going to walk right in and then walk right back out. The one who you could probably love and start a life with if things weren't so fucked up. The one you will always be on the edge with. The one you will always be reaching for, yearning for like it's a little piece of a different you that you sometimes wish you hadn't lost. The one who will always have the capability of making you the happiest and making you so much in pain that you have to curl up in a ball on the cold bathroom floor and clutch your chest to hold everything in. The one who will always make you swoon and get a broken heart. The one you will never actually be with. It's kind of fun and kind of like a movie. Ha. And it's really amusing that you are this for me. And it's even more amusing that you made this same realization. See you in another life, right?



Stop holding back and just give in, please. There's no need to be nervous or scared. Things are different now. You know that.