It will free me

When we tip toe across the sand in the desert, our feet don't even make a sound. Not even the tiniest bit of sound. So we break into a run and we feel free. Oh, so free. We're on the verge of flying, flying high, but we won't let our bodies take flight. The sky is scary and blue and big. We tell them we are fearless but Shhh! We lie, we lie. That's life. That's just life.

I am so ready for this. I am ready. I am... excited?

I fell in love with you long ago before your face had a body attached and your voice had a sound and your brains thought thoughts. I fell in love with this simple dream of someone like you when it was just in my head. Now it is standing right in front of me and things feel like they are supposed to feel and my body and my heart feel warm and content.

So this is it, huh? Alright. I can do this.

The lights glow up your face in the growing darkness and Grapevine Fires plays on the radio in your new car. It all feels so perfect, but I know it's not because of the one thing we talked about that other day when it was raining. You remember? The sky was gray and dull and you pointed this out to me with your pessimistic tone and furrowed eyebrows. I thought it looked beautiful. But my disagreement was pointless, so instead I sang "When I think about you, I touch myself." I laughed and laughed and laughed while you stood there and stood there and just stood. Then it started and we yelled and we screamed and we threw things into my door. It's white paint got scratched but you ignored it and I stared at it and we stopped talking and you left and now we are here weeks later in your car while Grapevine Fires plays softly on the radio. You are driving and I am sitting, looking at your face as the lights make it glow in the growing darkness. My head is swimming and it hurts but all I can do is say, "Where do we go from here?"