- When people gossip about me deleting them off Myspace (yeah, I don't believe it either).
- When people doubt me and laugh about imagining me fail.
- When people still think I'm the same person I was in 7th grade. Heeeelllloooo! People change, buddy.
- When people laugh at me for being friends with my mom. Sorry that not all of us have such a hatred for our mothers that we want to push them down a flight of stairs. I like being like a cool version of Lorelei and Rory.
- When people try so hard to be "cool." Icky. Be yourself. That is all.
- When people tell me I am ugly.
Whenever I hear this song, I want to cry. It is just that beautiful. And the lyrics, they sum up the feelings I have about life completely.
My new iPod and camera lens made me very happy and grateful for my wonderful family that buys me too much and cares for me with all of their hearts. But oddly enough, I liked my University of Washington sweatshirt the most. This simple clothing item put a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. It is a symbol of a future that can't seem to be near enough. When I opened the box that held it and saw it lying there, an image of my future self flashed through my mind. Happiness and rain and nature and old brick buildings and new friends and cameras and pages filled with words and lovely photographs and novels halfway written: That will be my life.
The conversation I had the other night with my second cousin was very nice. I don't think I have ever talked to him that much in my life. He has always been my favorite though. The most determined cousin I have, the most successful. I remember being very young and looking forward to his visits when we would watch Barney together and he would pull me around in my little wagon. Color in coloring books and laugh and laugh and laugh, just being the little kids we were. Now I am fifteen and he is twenty-three. He told me, "Courtney, I know everyone you have ever known has said this to you, but it's true. You can do anything you want to do. Anything. So don't give up. Just be determined and work hard at it. Don't let anything that happens right now bother you. Trust me, these people you're around right now in high school, 99% of them won't even matter after you graduate. You will all move on and really, forget all about each other. So, remember that. Don't let anything someone says to you or about you get in your way or hurt you too much. Because it won't matter and you can do anything." I was touched and inspired and close to tears all at once. Because really, how true is that? The simple fact that that is the truth has kept me going and will keep me going until I am handed my high school diploma.
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