With the end of this year just around the corner, I decided to clean out my room and get rid of a lot of stuff. I've started slow, doing just a little portion of my room every night this week. Some of the things I have come across seem as if they were apart of another life (i.e. a No Advisory "Merch Girl" pin, my eighth grade ID, a stuffed monkey, an unsent letter written to my first boyfriend, pink go-go boots, a Hollister hoodie, a picture of me with former friends, etc). I am so different now and I am still going through changes within my life and within myself. This endeavor has caused me to remember many, many different times in the past few years. I have gotten lumps in my throat, butterflies in my stomach, tears in my eyes, smiles on my lips, and lots and lots of laughter.
But basically, getting rid of all of this stuff makes me feel so free! Like these tokens of who I was before were weighing me down. I feel so light and new. It's incredibly lovely.
I remember this time last year. I was alone and lonely and bitter and sad. Now this year at the same time... I am not alone, yet I feel lonely and I am no longer bitter, yet still sometimes sad.
What changed? Well, a year is a long time, and I grew up. A lot. The key aspect in this change? Learning to not care what other people think of me. A step to self acceptance and a big one at that.
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